Dream Power

I cursed my dreaming talent all the way from California to Milan.

In fact, I felt like a monster having dreamt what happened to Marina about a week before.
My dream did not supply me with all the details. There was a call from Italy, telling me that my sister was in hospital and I had to rush there.

My rational mind dismissed the reference to Marina,  registering the warning as something regarding my ill mother. So I tried to brace for this last, more expected eventuality.

I forgot that I can dream the future. I dream reality still in its magmatic state just as the aboriginal ancestors dreamed their land.

It happened to me many times in life. It happened with James, a Dakota Indian whom I dreamed of, sitting in a cell with a neckbrace on, three months before he broke his neck in a car accident while transferred from one prison to another.

Thursday afternoon, while Milan was progressively buried under snow and I was waiting for my brother to give me a lift back to Bergamo, I got asleep on a couch. I had not slept much in bed at night for a few days. This catnap was pure relief for my sore eyes and mind.

In my dream, I was talking to Marina. I was telling her that she was free to choose whatever she wanted, and I'd still love and respect her. What I did not like, though, was her attitude (yes, I know, pray not to have me as your sister, I am demanding even when you're half dead!)

Enough with all this fear, I said. "C'mon sister. You boast to be such a traveler, how 'bout enjoying the trip?"

Marina's laughter shocked me out of my dream. She was undoubtly and loudly laughing. It was refreshing and made me feel a lot lighter. One thousand lbs lifted from my heart chakra.

In the car on the way to Bergamo, I was still thinking that we were going to be met with a tough decision that evening in the doctors' office. I was able to joke with Claudio all the way up there, though.

Instead, the doctors told us that they had interrupted sedation at 2 p.m. I had fallen asleep around 2.15, for half an hour.

Marina is still at a very high risk of losing her life, any minute. She's still in a coma and did not open her eyes, yet. However, the doctors said, she started to give some signs of reaction to inflicted pain.

When I saw her and took her hand, I knew Marina had decided to cross back.

A steel-gutted decision since she does not know, yet, how many pieces of herself she'll be able to bring along. But she  chose to give it a try.

Here she goes, I thought, feeling her very peculiar energy waving in a specific pattern in my hand. That's my girl!

More dreams came that night.

Again, I fell asleep on another couch, This time at Marina's house.

I felt my back lifted, through the couch, as if some unpleasant, ugly animal (neither dog nor cat but bigger than a rat) was trying to kidnap me away. I woke up to interrupt the jacking.

I rushed hot water in the bathtub to warm up before going to bed. But in the hot bubbling water, once again I slipped into the dreamworld.

Now I'm with Marina at our grandparents' house in Laveno. She's about six or seven, I'm three years younger than her, as in life. She holds my hand and leans her ear to the door of our parents' bedroom.

"Let's see if they are doing it," she says. Only, there has never been any "our parent's bedroom" since my dad was out of the house since I was born. Chances of getting mom and dad "doing it" are not exhisting. My dad is certainly doing it, but with another woman and somewhere else. My mom, although still young and gorgeous, is not doing it at all.

When I wake up, I have this rational thought very clear in mind:

"That's why both me and my sister are so sexual and so passionate in love-making. We're terrified of becoming asexuated like mom."

This is pure Marina's thinking. It would never cross my mind to rationalize that way.

I realized then what Marina is trying to tell me. Her fear is to come back without that body of her, so able to feel intensity and respond with passion to all the beauty in life.

-Well, sis. Had I to rewrite the whole tantra manual to bend it to your potentially new needs, I will.

Had I to carry you on top of a mountain and roll you down like a ball to make you feel the coolness of the fresh grass on your back and the euphoric rush of the free-wheeling spun, I will.

So... what's there to worry? 

You just relax. Get ready to pull back as many pieces as you can.

We'll think about the rest later.