What Do I Want?

For some mysterious reason, men generally ask me the question at the second date, if not the first.

"What do you want?", they ask. And I can see in their eyes that the only answer to fit their bill would be a stereotypical: "I want YOU', no matter what.

Well, maybe that is the true meaning of unconditional love. If it is, I'm unqualified for, at the present moment.

I have, in fact, very clear in my mind (or should I more honestly say in my guts?), what I want.

And I don't mean to give you my list of criteria for wanna-be boyfriends since I've always thought that just the idea of having set criteria is pathetic.

What I want, really, is to date. Yeah, right. Just like an unmarried couple, having more fun and adventures than talks about the future.

I might love you but that does not automatically translate in my immediate longing to live with you.

I am not saying that I will never want a future together but, please, can we avoid jumping to conclusions when we're still at the starting line?

Yes, it might have something to do with the fact that I am having the first roommating experience of my life at an age when people are instead more involved in assembling or breaking second marriages, while I was married and having a baby at a time when my classmates were roommating in college dorms. And I'm having, and had, lots of fun in both cases.

I can easily admit it, I might be a bit out of sync with normal life expectancy. But that's what and who I am, here and now, and I happen to know what I want.

So, if you want to be-not to become!- the man in my life, you got to know what you want. And your wants must match my desire.

I don't believe in "working hard" on a relationship to make it work despite limits and oddities.

I believe in magic.

Love is either magic or it isn't, in my reckless world.