Stomach Flu

The worst effect of stomach flu is that it makes you indifferent at your own fate and the world's. Almost.

Whatever that is, flu or bug or e-coli, is sucking up my energy when I would need it most. I'm down on antibiotics since yesterday. That's the last remedy for me but I am sick of being sick.

James Lee Burke's Bordersnakes kept me company in my wakes overnight. Great writer and familiar Montana slang, characters and scenarios. I still recall coming out of visiting at the Deer Lodge Prison and march into the saloon on Main Street all by myself for the only edible steak-dinner in town. And I remember the stares, comments and jokes of the greaseheads in there. Dudes who did not care even to brush manure from their cowboy boots and could not believe a woman eating alone was not there to look for troubles.The same folks, though, could turn into respectable mountain men when they were up streams wading and fly-fishing with elegance and grace. Their ability to transform fascinated me but I did not let it out. Too risky in an environment stranger than an African desert when it comes to cultural clash.

How many great moments I had under the Big Sky. How many times I had to face my fears and test myself against the odds. How many times I felt so intensely alive just because I was there all by myself, me and the millions of stars I'd never seen so bright in any other state or country.

I was a rebel with a cause back then and, boy, it felt good. I wish I could still believe something with the same intensity. Wish I could fight again with the same passionate drive pulsing through my veins.

Please, God, give me a good cause rather than a Mercedes Benz. Or better give me motivation to still go for one.

Comments

[f]

Gloria, the greatest cause are yourself, your pride, your courage... that's something so precious!...

[mt]

Gloria, I do perfectly understand what you mean....