Communication Problems

It's here. Finally, after seeing one million versions of it, on-screen and for editing purposes, my book is a book. It arrived yesterday in the form of an advance copy, delivered by UPS. It will hit the bookstores in a couple of weeks. So, why in some way it seems almost unreal now that it is finally real?

I'm under the impression that my unusual braking and refraining from pure, sheer excitement has something to do with one little thing happened the day before the book arrived.

A very special person was in town visiting me. We were abstractly discussing our respective visions of life. We were playing and it was fun. I have to admit, I had just shown him Mighty Quinn and stated that standing under a coconut tree with my arms stretched to catch the falling ripe fruits is my personal idea of financial planning. But... is that enough to think that I am, actually, dumb?

Because my friend asked me all of a sudden to tell him when it stopped to be "reckless", prospecting me the following scenario. He was leaving his job--a good job that he likes, by the way--selling his house, going around the world a couple of times, then moving to Brazil to... sell barbecue ribs on the beach. "Is that reckless?", he asked me.

The immediate result of his question was that I thought I might have some serious communication problem. If that is what he got from me. I mean, I like to play, and I'm always game for games but, the game has to be fair and intelligent.

So... no, unless selling barbecue ribs on Copacabana Beach is your dream, that's not reckless. It's just stupid, of course. But the question is, do you think that I am stupid?

I did not ask him this question. I should have but I was still in shock at the idea that I could have transmitted a similar perspective on what I mean by "reckless".

I hope he will read the book, and maybe understand me better. But I am still worried. Did I give anybody else reasons to think that reckless means mindless jumping into the fire, just for the heck of it?
Or, am I being just a little too sensitive on this issue since it is so important and delicate to me?

Any comment will be sincerely welcome.

Comments

[yoko]

Curiously, the definition for "reckless" in the Merriam-Webster dictionary says both "lack of proper caution" and "adventurous."

Consider what it would mean to be "reckfull"-- "reck" means "to worry." It would seem that some would think that to be without worries is to throw caution to the wind. And maybe being adventurous does require some of that. Perhaps jumping right into the fire is adventurous to your friend.

What I think you're trying to convey by being reckless is somehow being enriched by the adventures, and perhaps you think that your friend, in giving up what he loves for something risky, would not be somehow a fuller person from the experience. Maybe he would, maybe he won't. But if it is his true desire, as you say, and if he fulfills that desire, then perhaps he is reckless and would then have his own stories to tell.

[heathervescent]

You mean The Mighty Quinn! BBQ ribs on the beach. Yummm. I met many people doing just that (selling bracelets, food, sarongs, etc). It was their dream and they were happy doing it.

[f.]

You know, Gloria... from a conventional point of view to be reckless appears something often fascinating but unusual and strange... so most of the times people -even good people- think that reckless means bizarre, or weird, or eccentric... they simply don't know that recklessness is absolutely natural... essential, not exotic... recklessness is definitely a strong relationship with the world, with the life, with your character and personality... in order to be reckless we don't need to go beyond ourselves, but only beyond a miserable (or simply very limited) idea of ourselves...

[db]

Many people, if you ask them to be daring, will hide their head in the sand. But since no one likes to think of themselves as spineless whimps without the guts to follow their dreams, they may accuse you of being irresponsible. You don't even have to ask them to be daring, sometimes it's just enough that you are daring, for people to get tense and indirectly criticized ("What do you think you have that I don't? You think you are that special? You live in fairy tale land, and don't know what the real world is all about"). I don't think your writings come across as irresponsible, just unapologetically free and daring--two things that despite all the lip service paid to them scare people to the core. It is entirely possible that your friend is not one of these people and that his comment meant something very different, but be ready to bump into a whole lot of people who will give you similar feedback. Don't think for a second it has anything to do with you. It's just their fear speaking.

[db]

Many people, if you ask them to be daring, will hide their head in the sand. But since no one likes to think of themselves as spineless whimps without the guts to follow their dreams, they may accuse you of being irresponsible. You don't even have to ask them to be daring, sometimes it's just enough that you are daring, for people to get tense and indirectly criticized ("What do you think you have that I don't? You think you are that special? You live in fairy tale land, and don't know what the real world is all about"). I don't think your writings come across as irresponsible, just unapologetically free and daring--two things that despite all the lip service paid to them scare people to the core. It is entirely possible that your friend is not one of these people and that his comment meant something very different, but be ready to bump into a whole lot of people who will give you similar feedback. Don't think for a second it has anything to do with you. It's just their fear speaking.